Not going to lie
Brought on the old memories and wondering where in the first place
Will it not be a good memory?
will it not also be bad?
Driving slow like a hum across a frosty morning.
I remember that same feeling in a moore of south west England
I will miss that
I wanted a photo of that
I want a photo of this
Lets not miss another one
But is it safe?
All these things you had for yourself!
And to think we live in the normal,
the usual
We are so jealous…
That is no surprise
That i should be so lucky
When luck is insignificant
These things are everywhere all the time
depends how you appreciate it
I have never consider the usual as the insignificant
as i have never considered the unusual out of its context
A beautiful photo is always
and can be anywhere
yet we travel and travel to find something more significant to call worthy of our lenses
and we envy those in the places we seek
yet they envy you and dream of you normality
this does not alarm you?
do we not appreciate enough?
can we not rely on them a little more?
I saw the light bounce of the water
I questioned my hard fought opinions and views
I wondered why i hadn’t seen it from this angle more often
I wondered why i hadn’t embraced this view from the start
I considered the term “waste” and focused in on the glass between us
I considered the possibilities
split second illumination
calculations beyond comprehension
i estimated my worth in this place
I estimated my existence
And the glass dropped out of focus
I saw the moving road flash yellow on black tar
moving water drip colours through layers of dark
moving bridges scrape holes in the paint
buildings rip bloody into the sky
it is the same..
though i will miss it
like i miss the sound of water lapping the southern beaches
like i miss hotel room hums in Chicago skyscrapers
like i miss the metropolis dramatics unfold through double glazing
like i miss untouched sand in specks of sunlight
like i miss the smell of wet vegetation
and the list will grow longer
yet a list to be thankful for
and vibrations will map it out
and keep me in tune
are we not supposed to be unique?
and this will be my seen and done
my experience
from floor to window-ledge mornings
understanding
and motion towards
separation in the most connected ways
never letting go
balance
maintenance
heat
and governance
All of this loving gun, working hard and playing the little trumpets and banging the great big drums of heaven and earth this most beautiful thing that we love this most beautiful rhythm the lose sounds of life, the heavy drumming of a thousand and one green hearts and souls , hundred billion yellow taxi cabs in zoo panoramic scenes, beeping horns in the light rain as the souls of the past walk away from expensive circus performances with a genius in sand and a lightning hat shining BELIEF BELIEF on the heads of the others who had never dreamed or even conceived such possibilities, these things my dear are the works of great gods in capes screaming heaven down upon the earth in great big bags of lost sounds and perfect rhymes, this is what we all dream for lines of cabs running in time to the heavy need and turning 180 on a small road without a stop this is the need this is the want this is the everything… and who am i in all of this…… the guy with the two little black things singing in my ear…telling me stories from another brain…telling me that the city is moaning…that the sun is rising yellow out of a man hole on the corner of 53rd street… and we all know its true you just have to click on the right buttons and not lie about it because you want that attention you want that soul bearing click, those words from a real mouth that i am in your head just as they are in mine. we all want it… lets not beat around the burning bush… we all want it..
some excerpts of my conversations with the computer today
It’s Coming!
Nothing today was worth the night before… except for the moment before i stopped working on the stringed family member, and the moment i started again today…. everything would have been fine…. it’s just a pity that moment lasted a whole 24hours…