Trying to break out of the same old. And back into the same old. Three Fold bass with rhythms in pieces. I remember how this used to go and I remember wanting out of the same old. This same old.
So the next one has a bit of air. Real air.
It will be there through everything.
This human stack. Fortress of time.
A shell of its purpose. Basking in infinite light.
It will be here as long. Forever.
Defending from a different kind,
Another time when protection ruled.
Now it will be your nest,
Landmarked. Footnote. Eyesore to splendor.
It has been here through everything.
This human stack. Fortress of time.
Whistling wind. White sticks in blue landscape scraping horizons on blue canvas. Vertical slits in the peaceful yonder. The wind howls reminders. Don’t stop.
Rattling through every hole in the spectrum of light this does not cease to easily. I was here once in the dark, nearly alone, watching the rain come down in relative calm. And now… Fresh… Life rejuvenating… This wind is ceaseless wonder. Scraping horizons with white sticks on blue canvas.
Ultimately I a, searching for an outlet.. Disappointed with ,y recent effort. The wind, shakes and rolls like my intentions, constrained by a greater power. Yes I need that space and time… But you know it is all in your mind waiting to be released. Intentions require nothing more than effort. Give it.
There is something building. A new phase… The gap has been beneficial in showing the faults and the brilliance of before. Clearer ideas lead to better results but it is easy to forget the effort that went in before. Something is building… A new phase. A phase that will bring a lot of this together… Something that will satisfy this wind.
I just wonder if it is more or less important than the rest…
I want something fresh.
A today something new will go out.
Another few days of this and it will all be for something else. I get that desire to create for myself rather than another and it wrecks the soul to see more opportunities pass away. I have a clear idea on how to bring it all back together again like it used to be. To have one place to visit when I need to put my ideas forward into the world. It is this place… And another place… It is about bringing them together and not over complicating things.
It is about finding these moments in the interim when I know I can just let out some thoughts. And then when I have a second I can elaborate on a significant step forward. A real statement.
A calling card…
All in one place.
Important things I need to do to make it all possible?
Find time to do all of this on a daily basis. Remember that you are more than one thing and each element needs to be focused on in its own time. But not exhaustively.
Put time aside. And stop caring so much about the other stuff… Say no.
Sketch. Draw. Write…. Then the other stuff will begin as a result of that. It is always a starting point.
… losing something temporarily to the restrictions of program. I created this thing.. something that rekindled my relationship with sound. Something I loved and wanted everyone to hear instantly. A snippet of something that could be a part of more.
Why do you do it? Who is going to care? And what will THEY think when they see this other side. The abstract side. The one that talks in tongues. The section of the list that was personal was fairly empty. What did that mean? Who was responsible for keeping it active. And was it actually more active than you think or does the 9-5 have you by the balls and all. I’d say it does. They have succeeded in making you feel like this is your thing. Who is going to benefit? Who is going to slap you on the back at the end of the day and say here is your share.
That section of the list was too empty. Too lacking in real substance. It was all a product of something or someone else. You were struggling to fill it. It felt like shit. You’ve felt like shit. You’ve lost your way looking into what you will have rather than what you could have right now… or what you could be creating for you, for yourself. Stuff thatr you can instantly say you love and want to share. Something you know is top class… world standard. Golden from the outset.
But you have been looking to far ahead. Forgetting the present. Forgetting this and how natural it is. Forgetting the stuff that makes you unique and creative. Without realising you have been fitting in with the extraordinary. You are part of a team, part of the best but you are also losing the edge that got you there. They need you, maybe… there is a pause of realisation in you there… you know it is not neccessarily that way. You did not grow up dreaming of the things they seek. You landed on this at a later date… how did you get there? And why are you still sitting around trying to get as much out of it as possible.
You have stopped running your life based on what you love and begun letting it be governed by what you feel you should do, and by the demands of others.
Give them time to give you back something before you break your own life. Rebuild.. create
Create… rebuild… love it all again… reconnect.. in a real way.. with words, shapes, sounds, images. People… movement.
Get that code and find that sound. Make the effort and reconnect.
The Sunny Day
Kenny Dorham on the stereo.. that is essential
Sitting by an open window. It lets in
The sun in varying amounts… spilling onto the floor and across everything it can reach. Sometimes landing on skin and warming. Caressing the soul.. its perfect.
The air, the freshness that comes on lovely day. The breeze will push against the warmed surfaces, cooling in waves. Like a sea spray it comes in waves.. always welcome.
The breeze brings in the sounds of a sunny day. Those particular noises. Dusty streets being pushed by dry car wheels. Children in ecstasy under the yellow giant. What is that warmth? The lawnmowers.. the buggies and prams rattling against the concrete.. kids pushing sticks into soft tar. Remember that summer?
All the while the sounds filter through a stream of jazz.. music pushing against the buzzing thick heat. Turn it up loud. Think of these times while you live them. Turn it up loud. Music sounds different in heat. Another breeze, close your eyes and feel your life get stirred by the concoction.
A summer cocktail. Sensory bliss. Curled toes in drenched comfort. Cold green blades hug every digit. Nature crawls on top. Unknowing. Curious.. searching. Get it while its hot. Hot Jazz.
There is a deep heat in that brass sound. Especially the afro-cuban kind. Waves of sweating sound… combusts in explosions of rabid musical joy.
Get it while it’s hot.
Sirens on the road. Birds chirp. Forget the weekday worries. This is Sunday. This is the End of those work days. Put it aside. Make plans. Step into a different mentality and take advantage of your time. YOUR time. Your goals and aspirations.
All wrapped up in a day.
The keys hang from their hole. Door ajar, slid aside to allow the world in and the music out. Trumpet lines creak from a 70s studio to a 10s Dublin apartment complex… Time travel.
In the thick of it now. Realising at the last moment where your heart really lies in front of crazy noses and blue bridges. They had something tangible to express… Hey knew they were changing the world with every brush stroke. It is brilliant o see… Brilliance on canvas. You try and capture that same feeling but the world was a different place then. You really have to look deeper to hit that same level of ingenuity and freedom of expression. There are no borders now, no limits, no lines to go over. It is easy to find a voice and express it… So easy that everyone is doing it.
To shun the tools at our disposal is to be seen to be a purist… Some sort of lover of the old… Somebody who has no love of the new. It’s is total crap. What is most sad is the disposable nature of so much that we invest our time in now. Even on the scale of architecture we are looking at massive constructions with no belief that it will exist in the years to come. We don’t think about the legacy because we know how easy it can be removed, replaced and forgotten. Whereas we are so determined to protect what has come from the past because it is worth it… Every mark on this world should be considered permanent until proven otherwise. Sit down and think about what you Are at! Don’t just hit a button and think that it will solve everything. Look over, rehearse, repeat… Develop and learn. Creativity is not a click away. Everything you love took time.
Lots of time.
Today I saw two men leering out of a gold shop doorway harassing women as they passed. Gold smiles and watches hanging off their faces… The kind of faces you wouldn’t trust for love nor money. “How you doin’ darlin’ ?”
The kind of face that you’d like to introduce to your fist.
I also saw a man peering, troubled out of a window. First floor out onto the street. In front of him two men were parting ways from a bar entrance, the leaver smiling nervously and backing away into a bollard that hit his square between the legs. The man in the window saw it all happen but not even a flinch on his expression. He looked blankly into the glass seeing nothing but his thoughts.
The tech dudes were at it again across the table. Offers, offers galore. Join this here crazy house, we do everything like they do in the movies. Isn’t that what you want? Is that what makes us cool. Is it? And here I stand in front of a closed door wondering why I chose to forget what I knew all too well. I am too long out of this game to remember the fundamentals. Am I?
Delighted for the lad, he tries so hard. Can’t hold it against him. Ah to be sure it is a great thing. To be sure.
And then the fridges came out and the leader of the free world was purchasing everything he could get his hands on. Because ultimately all you need is the clothes on your back and a good ol computer screen. Google helps.
Frustration one day will lead to indifference the next. You can’t let your head get out of that utter uncertainty. The best stuff is found on the very edge between reason and reckless abandonment.
I watched a show about Da Vinci’s mind. He was portrayed as a babbling nutter.. the good kind. The one that means good but can’t help flay his arms and hands around like a conductor with 3 orchestras… Why should it be that way. It makes for a good stage show, some eye candy to keep you interested (it was only in 2D – good lord!).
I think it was all in his head… itching to come out. Going over it all minute after minute – until the end of his world. He didn’t need to waste the energy with rest of his body. Just watch and learn.
Today I watched an old lady with a foreign pair.. North African. She was helping them somehow but seemed to be making more of a fuss than she needed. I watched a young guy with too much responsibility fail utterly at being helpful to my father.
I saw a pair of girls on the tram gossip and scheme… neither looked happy – both were uncomfortable in their place. Another pair got caught for evasion of the fare. Details were taken.
The other day, standing outside of Tower records I saw a pair of men carry crates of beverages to club entrance next door. The lazy mans load – each of them were carrying far more than they ought to. The door was closed of course… so the act of placing the towering piles was entertaining to watch. The second man, who had come from a different vehicle to the same spot had chosen to carry his load under one arm and above the other. It resulted in a peculiar dismount – one knee on the ground the other supporting his tiring arm beneath the wobbling pile. I wanted to take a snap shot and draw it right away. I thought it was such a unique pose that would appear in a Manga folio or book of interesting poses. I made sure to remember it till now.
I forgot a dream I had last night that I was delighted to remember in the first place. I keep thinking planes… or boats… Boats, I think that is what it was… going somewhere… the sea was definitely involved. Very interesting though as I had made a note of it to myself.
The dream I refer to where I am offered a position in a tech start up.. it all means something.
Why did I decide to make this entry more lucid? Am I starting to want to use this journal as more than just a brain fart? The last time that happened I filled it up with music reviews. Why did I do that? I guess I wanted to make that other website. And I did.. then I moved them. Then I deleted these.
Hit the gallery. Look at the effort and try to motivate yourself to do the same. You will not achieve anything by using the tools of others. Create your own means and the product will be so much more valuable. Create your own tools and the world will take notice.
I want to create a platform where I can compile all of this in a public and private way. A Document for the world to use now and in the future. Something that we contribute to without trying. Something that allows us to quantify our footprint online. Allows us to filter our own presence. Present certain types of content to those that we want to see it.
I struggled to motivate myself to write these lines the other night. I wanted the time to do it.
I am afraid I wont be motivated when I return to the working world. Why is it that a creative job stifles my creativity. I am torn by fear of under achieving and thus resulting in a total stagnation of new content. The exact same content that got me the job in the first place.
I am determined to increase my wage but I have no need of it. I want it. I do not need it. What I need is the time to draw what I see around me. Look at the amazing things that are provided to my eyes by life in this city, country, world. Listen to the endless sounds and music that surround me on a daily basis.
Sometimes I walk home and I can’t remember the feeling of standing in front of a painting you love, but did not expect to see. I forget the breathless moments. The awe as you crane your neck around the brushstrokes as if they were an inch from your face.
Nighthawks. Ornans. About to write a letter.
That brings me full circle.. I am going to sit right down and write myself a letter.
Breaking new ground with public utterings of these things unsaid in the most public of places. That is a good move in the grand scheme of things rather than wondering for ever if anybody gets how the mind works it always good to just be up front and let them know.
The Plural should always be spelt correctly. Little red lines of evil!
A constant urge to find the next thing to work on. Runs in the bones and blood and keeps the mind healthy, but forever engaged and weary. Ultimately it will tear it apart. Especially on those long hard evenings when there is nothing left, especially time, with which to work for. Also tied around the worries and constant questioning of every day phenomena.. that which others will partake in.. the unsaid.. the elephants in every room.
The mind sits and stares at the obvious.. knows all. Tells nothing. Like it should. Keeps itself sane and unbalanced at the same time. Ponder over one thing for too long and it will tear the mind apart bit by bit. Instead release it on something and build upon it.. Let it into the light.
Then harness every bit. Use it.
That is when it makes sense.
Waiting for the noise to finish this.. faraway thumps suggest the end.
I was in a room with Pirates.. I was a pirate. We were discussing our union amidst a major celebration of youth and music. A massive rave in the garden. A humongous rave in the club and beyond the walls. Lasers and thumping music. Everyone was having a great time. Inside we discussed the conditions and I found myself full of frustrated yet demanding voices. I commanded the room to be silent, I remember thinking to myself that I sounded mildly annoying and definitely forceful… but I was surprised at its effect. I had no respect for anyone in the room, but neighther did they for me. It was a mutual distaste.. yet I was trying to convince them to doa good, change their ways… I struggled to find the word.. eventually another pirate (my brain) reminded me… Vigil Ante… that is what we could be. Outlaws for the greater good. The scary force that does the dirty work where the law has failed to deliver. But I knew deep down that they were just using me to hide their intentions behind a nobel face. I knew it but I wanted to work with it.
The most shocking thing was the noise, the loud thuds that came twice like explosions outside. Every pirate ran to find out what it was. But it was nothing.
The sound was like three glass explosions. The volume of a truck of glass depositing its load on a concrete floor. Keys smashing against a glass window.. Perhaps it was happening in reality and I failed to notice. The Pirates returned to their discourse. I woke up.
I knew it had been a dream.
Let’s get one thing straight. It always goes down this way.
Once it is decided the idea of stopping the process is not desired. This is not a complete flow. Distracted by the want to begin on something new. Platforms and cans of it. Wrap your eyes around the visions, ideas, desires and last chance saloons. It is all in there between the fingers and keys waiting to be emptied onto white expanses trees and fellow walls are full of the same impulsions. We all got to the line at the same time, we all want to get to the next one before the last person speaks up and pulls the whole shit down on our heads. Get there first and lord it over the rest. That is what they all want you to do. That is what is always on the minds of the many who sit around twiddling their thumbs. They are the ones who like like they do the least, but in reality they have the greatest ideas. They are unafraid to express even the wierdest of ideas. The weirdest of ideas are usually the ones that change the face of history, push the earth onto a new axis. Create an absolute black hole in the middle of what is expected.
Just twiddling their thumbs. Thinking. Endless thinking. And at the end of it… an idea.
In the mean time they do this. and it always goes down this way. So let’s get to it now that that is straight.
Breaking new ground through red tops on city streets. Engrained with the chit chat of friendly faces in large windows of shop fronts. This is how it was and used to be. Keep it going. Don’t let it stop. Don’t let us realise where things have changed.
We’re so eager to deny the present, so eager to keep looking back, keep all the good memories. Keep it safe and to the fore at all times.
Nobody chooses to remember the rest.
And when things stop working the life is readjusted and refitted to work accordingly.Don’t need it, never did. Want it and won’t do to have anything else. It is conflicted. The latest old version keeps sleek design and cool. It shows its purpose.. it IS what it looks like. Not just a blank face.. a blank canvas.. designed to look like everything at once – a guitar, a piano, a notebook, a tabletop… everything but what it is.. or what it was before the needs (or wants) of the many turned it into an abstract slab of matter..
Something that can do everything.. Our companion, they say… the answer to all of life’s problems. Still called after its ancestors but with little or nothing to do with it.
It will win the election, mow the lawn.. a cure-all for the 21st century. Step right up… step right up
When did I stop really contributing. Without stopping to consider two letters, two words. Two anything. I had a flow that could not be matched by my present self and I was proud of it. I was totally in tune with everything I wanted to be at that time, in that space. I had a viewpoint on my life that was completely observational and totally over the top. But I was not afraid to express it and to learn from it. Somehow I knew that I would read it all years later and gain so much energy in the process. At some point life got so important. At some point life got more “important” and I stopped trying as hard.
I don’t try at all.
I never used the word I at all for instance. I should try and do that again. He should try and do that again.
He wrote words that are now totally disconnected from his head. Time has brought them to a new place. Taken them apart and created a new person. One which can represent a different time and allow passages of text like this.
This was a person who had such a pure view on life. He struggled to fit in.. to be cool.. to see and feel what he wanted so much. It seems when he got it he forgot about what got him there, what attracted his goal in the first place.
It was also the core of what has been made possible now. He was a creative. Helplessly creative. A person who could not do anything else. Someone who was thankfully hampered by his lack of knowledge and benefitted from the time it took to learn. No desire to “look” the part. Except there was a desire. Just couldn’t do it. And as a result that lack of ability allowed so much more to be expressed. No hours in front of endless letters and numbers trying to figure out who can be friends and who cant. No endless hours with tiny squares pushing black against white and colours into the right combination.
It was just words on a page. Sound in a speaker. Images on a screen. No combination.
This site became the combination.
Perhaps it just needs to be stripped down to nothing. Words – images – sounds. Nothing else. Do not even try to combine them in one place. Put them beside each other and let them exist on their own if they have to. That is what should be done.
Forget the menu. Just a timeline of words.
Forget a timeline… except it is nice to be able to place words in a time and space.
Why can’t i disconnect now!? What “I” is it talking to? Who is he?
Stop with the persons.
Disconnect, reset. Plug out and back in. Start again.
Play the strings.
Release the shutter.
Pen to paper.
Push the button.
No more power.
Today I made my first post to this blog in nearly 2 months. Reflecting that inactivity, the post consisted of a podcast recorded on June 12th for Dirty Radio… old news.
So what has been happening and why has it taken so long for the In The Black Box beast to reawaken and write these words.
Well needless to say I’ve been doing other things, life has changed and my presence on the internet has had a bit of a rethink. Yes I have been cheating on this website with another blog… I am a user.. a website whore with no good bone in my body, I know! The shame of it all is overwhelming.
However I am hoping that you my users will come to understand why I have been doing this.
Since I finished college in May I have been working on getting myself employed with a prospect for real money, the sort of money that you can exchange for goods and services. My search for this pot of gold proved extremely elusive and by mid-June I had reserved myself to sad fact that employment was not going to come easy. So I did what any sane human being would do… I made some toast. And then I set up a business.
ArtHub.ie is a venture that grew out of my own intentions to set up an art blog where I could continue writing about art and art history beyond college… keeping my eye and mind for art sharp, in case someone ever challenged me to some nerdy duel, if you will.
I spent two months designing the website from the bottom up, trying out ideas, failing, then trying them again and gradually succeeding… it was a long process. What resulted was a website devoted to promoting Arts activity in Ireland through the use of Social Media and on-line media of all types. By encouraging others to tweet and write about events we would then promote these voices in a discussion… esentially providing a place where otherwise scattered views on specific events and topics could be heard in one place. That place is www.arthub.ie.
As a result of all of this work, and actually finding some paid work in the mean time, I was forced to abandon my daily posts to this blog. Yet I would return often, checking out that everything was still working OK and people wouldn’t be viewing a pile of crap in a putrid corner of the web..
I intend to maintain this blog however. But It will become less of a blog and more of a professional band page.. something it ought to have been from the start really. A place where my music, personal writing and photographic/video work can have a proper home. I may even keep the podcast here, but either way that will always be available over on DirtyRadio, and is something that I never want to give up on.
This website is nearly 6 years old now.. and In The Black Box, as a personal initiative, is about 8 years old by my calculations… it is close to my heart and the single longest thing I have ever committed to. The changes that are coming are only going to strengthen and focus my creative output.. while my music and art reviews are set to continue on a website that is more appropriate.
In the coming months intheblackbox.eu will take on a new look and will be integrated seamlessly with daviddonoghue.com . No longer will the two be separated, and finally all of my creative processes will have a clean and dynamic home on-line.
I am very sorry for the web silence over the past while. I encourage you to find my writing over on arthub.ie from here on out. And return to this website for all new podcasts, music, photography and videos. The process is only beginning and there is some great stuff round the corner.
I personally cannot wait.
Will you be there?
Well I have been extremely busy lately, and it is only set to get worse as the shit hits the fan next week, but the cogs are in motion to have the first solid release from In The Black Box in almost a year. We will be releasing a selection of short EPs over the summer with the first promising to be a proper House fix.
I decided to enter this competition for a trip to Cuba. Gilles Peterson set it up with Havana Club and its all about doing a remix etc etc.
So I made a remix for Revolucion Del Cuerpo.. sat on it for a bit.. was too busy to keep working on it and decided to enter it anyway when they extended the closing date.